so, last night when we got home from my aunts and uncles we decided to watch the walking dead. we watched about 4 or 5 episodes and didnt go to sleep till almost four. got up semi early...gosh, i am SOOOO TIRED. i should probably be sleeping right now.
anywho, today was a rather uneventful day.
we just lounged around the whole day for the most part. i was going to do some more laundry but i wasnt in the mood to walk all the way down to the laundry facilities.
my husband has the day off tomorrow. devyn has a follow-up appt with his developmental pediatrician. we will see how that goes. i have to remember to ask if we got approved to go to the SEEPAC classes. i hope we are because i think they will help us a lot. it has a 6 week course. one class a week. its a class for parents who have a child that was recently diagnosed with autism. should be interesting.
gosh, i would LOVE some coffee right about now!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
HB
well today was a nice day.
we went over to my aunt and uncles house in Huntington Beach to do some laundry. we just hung out and ate dinner and watched some tv.
devyn and autumn love them and love going over. i appreciate the fact that somebody wants to see them at least. makes me feel happy even if its not my parents who want to see them.
devyn was okay the whole time pretty much. he had a small meltdown. but nothing big. he was eating like crazy. snacks of course. i almost got him to eat some meatloaf...but nope! of course not! haha. my aunt made cookies and devyn just ran around saying cookies? cookies? and was taking them off the counter. he is so funny.
they live like right around the corner from the beach. they made chris and i take a walk down there while they watched the kids. we werent gone very long but it was still nice to just sit there on the beach and relax a bit. we watched the sunset. here is a picture. :)
we went over to my aunt and uncles house in Huntington Beach to do some laundry. we just hung out and ate dinner and watched some tv.
devyn and autumn love them and love going over. i appreciate the fact that somebody wants to see them at least. makes me feel happy even if its not my parents who want to see them.
devyn was okay the whole time pretty much. he had a small meltdown. but nothing big. he was eating like crazy. snacks of course. i almost got him to eat some meatloaf...but nope! of course not! haha. my aunt made cookies and devyn just ran around saying cookies? cookies? and was taking them off the counter. he is so funny.
they live like right around the corner from the beach. they made chris and i take a walk down there while they watched the kids. we werent gone very long but it was still nice to just sit there on the beach and relax a bit. we watched the sunset. here is a picture. :)
Friday, January 7, 2011
so tiredddd
Devyn ended up going to sleep around midnight last night and he didnt wake up till 1030! pretty crazy..i didnt really get to sleep in late because autumn woke up. but i did have a chance to feed her and clean and even make coffee and watch some king of queens before devyn woke up! it was nice!
during session today we tried to get d to eat some chicken and rice. he licked it a few times but it was pretty much a no go. autumn was trying to attack it though.
now devyn is sleeping again!!!! i thought for sure since he slept late that he wouldnt take a nap but guess i was wrong! maybe he is trying to catch up on sleep now since he hasnt taken a nap in a longgggg time.
but, it has been a pretty non eventful day yet again.
just cleaned as usual. the place looks spotless for the most part. i would still be cleaning now if autumn was asleep..and if i wasnt sooo tired.
im still having sleep issues. couldnt fall asleep again last night.
i need to get some kind of sleep aid i think. i feel soooo tired every single day!
anyway, im glad its friday! even though we probably wont be doing much. just laundry...maybe go over to my aunts and uncles house to do that so we dont have to waste money. haha. but other than that...we will probably just lounge around.
during session today we tried to get d to eat some chicken and rice. he licked it a few times but it was pretty much a no go. autumn was trying to attack it though.
now devyn is sleeping again!!!! i thought for sure since he slept late that he wouldnt take a nap but guess i was wrong! maybe he is trying to catch up on sleep now since he hasnt taken a nap in a longgggg time.
but, it has been a pretty non eventful day yet again.
just cleaned as usual. the place looks spotless for the most part. i would still be cleaning now if autumn was asleep..and if i wasnt sooo tired.
im still having sleep issues. couldnt fall asleep again last night.
i need to get some kind of sleep aid i think. i feel soooo tired every single day!
anyway, im glad its friday! even though we probably wont be doing much. just laundry...maybe go over to my aunts and uncles house to do that so we dont have to waste money. haha. but other than that...we will probably just lounge around.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
:D
today has been a rather boring day so far. tried to catch up on autumn's babybook and scrapbook today. cleaned a little bit. that was pretty much it.
our friends are coming over later tonight with their child. her and d are little friends. so cute to watch them play.
then afterwards, my friend and i are going to go out for coffee!
some me time!
yay!
:)
our friends are coming over later tonight with their child. her and d are little friends. so cute to watch them play.
then afterwards, my friend and i are going to go out for coffee!
some me time!
yay!
:)
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
productive day!
im happy to say that im doing better today. im trying to put everything in the back of my mind though. which has helped me be less stressed today and im not worrying so much. ive just tried to keep myself busy all day. the kids have been more demanding as usual. well, i guess that is a semi lie because they are always pretty demanding. haha. but with them and cleaning non-stop..my day went by fast! man, i wish every single day was like this! i will try to keep this up.
non-stop cleaning every day for me! hah.
anywho, i sat in on devyn's session today. i try to sit in and bring autumn in there to watch his sessions and participate as much as i can. he had a relatively good session. he had a few short meltdowns and almost hit autumn a few times..but it was less than he usually does. i think his communication and understanding of things is getting a little better. i think he understands what sorry means. the other day he bumped my husband and said sorry :) it was pretty cute. i wish his therapy wouldnt end because i know its beneficial for him. he will be starting special education preschool in march though, so that will be good for him. if he gets into the class i want him to be, it will be individualized. but he will also have group time.
i finally got devyn's occupational therapy worked out today. it sure took long enough! he is able to go two times a week. but with everything going on right now and with having only one car, we decided to try just one day a week for an hour right now and then gradually do more hours a week. he loved it there when he had his evaluation. im hoping this will help with his sensory issues.
non-stop cleaning every day for me! hah.
anywho, i sat in on devyn's session today. i try to sit in and bring autumn in there to watch his sessions and participate as much as i can. he had a relatively good session. he had a few short meltdowns and almost hit autumn a few times..but it was less than he usually does. i think his communication and understanding of things is getting a little better. i think he understands what sorry means. the other day he bumped my husband and said sorry :) it was pretty cute. i wish his therapy wouldnt end because i know its beneficial for him. he will be starting special education preschool in march though, so that will be good for him. if he gets into the class i want him to be, it will be individualized. but he will also have group time.
i finally got devyn's occupational therapy worked out today. it sure took long enough! he is able to go two times a week. but with everything going on right now and with having only one car, we decided to try just one day a week for an hour right now and then gradually do more hours a week. he loved it there when he had his evaluation. im hoping this will help with his sensory issues.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
so take my hand...lets walk away.
so i decided to cut all ties with my family. my sister said one too many horrible things to me today.
apparently, im not ALLOWED to grieve over my sons diagnosis.
people are so fucking ignorant. pardon my french. but that was the last straw. i will no longer associate with disgusting human beings like that again.
ANYWHO,
we went to the doctor today for autumn. she weights 20 lbs 9 oz and she is 27 inches tall. she is in the 50% for her weight and 25% for her height. my little shorty girl! :D but she is doing good. i talked to their doctor about everything on my list. she was due for two vaccines today. hep b and the flu shot. i decided to definitely not get the flu shot and delay the hep b. i just dont feel comfortable with her getting any vaccines right now. im not saying i think they cause autism..i just dont know what to make of it right now and cannot make a decision as to when i want her to get them right then. the dr reassured me that the hep b isnt necessary right now. and she can get it when she is four or 5. so that made things easier and put my mind at ease. she is also going to get her thyroid levels checked again just to make sure there isnt a problem with her thyroid too.
as for devyn, we went over the gf/cf diet. she said to go ahead and try it and see what happens. so we will try out that diet probably next month. of course im not putting much hope in it. because there ISNT a cure for autism. but it doesnt hurt to try right?
these last few days have been an emotional roller coast. i cant believe i actually thought my family would be supportive. how stupid of me. this is the last time i will ever think about doing that again..
from now on all i NEED to focus on is MY family. everything else is secondary.
ill end on this interesting little article that i saw posted on a message board group im apart of...
BY MIDLIFE ARMY WIFE, ON JANUARY 3RD, 2011
Dear Struggling Mom,
I heard your child all over the store. As I visited different areas of the store in search for the things on my list, I could hear him stimming. Loudly. I recognized it immediately. My heart immediately went out to you even though I hadn’t seen you yet. I knew that grocery shopping was probably not on your list of fun things to do today, let alone with your child in tow.
As I approached the checkout lanes, I saw you. You weren’t hard to find. He was about 5 years old, sitting in the front seat of the buggy as your daughter (6 or 7?) stood next to it. I wondered how many people were judging you thinking that your child was misbehaving as he squirmed, kicked, and yelled from his place in the buggy. I know I once would have. Before I was a parent. Before I was a parent of a special needs child. I wondered how many people avoided getting in that lane behind you, but I just felt like I needed to choose that lane. I ended up behind you with one person in between us. My heart broke as I saw the tired, worn out look on your face. You had a buggy full of groceries, which meant you had been there a while. I have no doubt you were ready to get out of the store and on your way home.
I looked down and saw a small tennis shoe under the buggy of the lady in front of me. She had no kids. I looked forward at your son’s feet – yep! Missing a shoe. I picked it up and handed it to you, and you just smiled and said thanks.
I watched as you tenderly put the shoe back on his foot. Then, as you turned your back and he continued to kick, off it came again. Not wanting to interfere too much, I waited to see if you caught it. You did. Once again, you tenderly put it back on his feet.
As you were waiting to pay, he suddenly went into an outburst getting much louder, and hitting himself in the head with his fists. You so gently reached over and stroked his arms and spoke calmly to him. I had tears in my eyes as I watched how you cared for him with love. You didn’t grab him or yell at him or try to “make him behave”. You just comforted him and tried to make him feel safe.
I saw you paying with a WIC card, and your behavior it impressed me even more. I don’t know if you are married or a single mom, but obviously money is tight. Money issues, and dealing with a child with special needs can take a lot out of you. I don’t know how you felt on the inside, but on the outside, you were not taking it out on your kids.
I wanted to help. So badly, I wanted to help. I didn’t know what to do. You don’t know me, so it’s not like I could offer to take your kids for the afternoon. I couldn’t afford to buy that buggy full of groceries for you.
So, I used all I had. My words.
I didn’t know what to say. Everything I said in my head sounded silly.
I hoped you didn’t think I was interfering, but I had to say something, so I walked up and touched you on the shoulder and prayed for God to give me the words to speak as I said,
“Can I just tell you that you are doing an awesome job with your kids? I know it’s not the same, but I have a daughter with Asperger’s and I know it can be stressful. The way you speak to your children and the way you have been handling him shows how much you love him.”
With tears in your eyes, you replied with “Thank you, that means so much!”. We gave each other a knowing glance, and parted ways.
I wish I could have done more. But the tears in your eyes told me that I had done something.
I learned from you too. You reminded me how important it is to put our children’s needs first. Not to worry about what the other people in the store think. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that our kids know we love them unconditionally just as they are.
apparently, im not ALLOWED to grieve over my sons diagnosis.
people are so fucking ignorant. pardon my french. but that was the last straw. i will no longer associate with disgusting human beings like that again.
ANYWHO,
we went to the doctor today for autumn. she weights 20 lbs 9 oz and she is 27 inches tall. she is in the 50% for her weight and 25% for her height. my little shorty girl! :D but she is doing good. i talked to their doctor about everything on my list. she was due for two vaccines today. hep b and the flu shot. i decided to definitely not get the flu shot and delay the hep b. i just dont feel comfortable with her getting any vaccines right now. im not saying i think they cause autism..i just dont know what to make of it right now and cannot make a decision as to when i want her to get them right then. the dr reassured me that the hep b isnt necessary right now. and she can get it when she is four or 5. so that made things easier and put my mind at ease. she is also going to get her thyroid levels checked again just to make sure there isnt a problem with her thyroid too.
as for devyn, we went over the gf/cf diet. she said to go ahead and try it and see what happens. so we will try out that diet probably next month. of course im not putting much hope in it. because there ISNT a cure for autism. but it doesnt hurt to try right?
these last few days have been an emotional roller coast. i cant believe i actually thought my family would be supportive. how stupid of me. this is the last time i will ever think about doing that again..
from now on all i NEED to focus on is MY family. everything else is secondary.
ill end on this interesting little article that i saw posted on a message board group im apart of...
BY MIDLIFE ARMY WIFE, ON JANUARY 3RD, 2011
Dear Struggling Mom,
I heard your child all over the store. As I visited different areas of the store in search for the things on my list, I could hear him stimming. Loudly. I recognized it immediately. My heart immediately went out to you even though I hadn’t seen you yet. I knew that grocery shopping was probably not on your list of fun things to do today, let alone with your child in tow.
As I approached the checkout lanes, I saw you. You weren’t hard to find. He was about 5 years old, sitting in the front seat of the buggy as your daughter (6 or 7?) stood next to it. I wondered how many people were judging you thinking that your child was misbehaving as he squirmed, kicked, and yelled from his place in the buggy. I know I once would have. Before I was a parent. Before I was a parent of a special needs child. I wondered how many people avoided getting in that lane behind you, but I just felt like I needed to choose that lane. I ended up behind you with one person in between us. My heart broke as I saw the tired, worn out look on your face. You had a buggy full of groceries, which meant you had been there a while. I have no doubt you were ready to get out of the store and on your way home.
I looked down and saw a small tennis shoe under the buggy of the lady in front of me. She had no kids. I looked forward at your son’s feet – yep! Missing a shoe. I picked it up and handed it to you, and you just smiled and said thanks.
I watched as you tenderly put the shoe back on his foot. Then, as you turned your back and he continued to kick, off it came again. Not wanting to interfere too much, I waited to see if you caught it. You did. Once again, you tenderly put it back on his feet.
As you were waiting to pay, he suddenly went into an outburst getting much louder, and hitting himself in the head with his fists. You so gently reached over and stroked his arms and spoke calmly to him. I had tears in my eyes as I watched how you cared for him with love. You didn’t grab him or yell at him or try to “make him behave”. You just comforted him and tried to make him feel safe.
I saw you paying with a WIC card, and your behavior it impressed me even more. I don’t know if you are married or a single mom, but obviously money is tight. Money issues, and dealing with a child with special needs can take a lot out of you. I don’t know how you felt on the inside, but on the outside, you were not taking it out on your kids.
I wanted to help. So badly, I wanted to help. I didn’t know what to do. You don’t know me, so it’s not like I could offer to take your kids for the afternoon. I couldn’t afford to buy that buggy full of groceries for you.
So, I used all I had. My words.
I didn’t know what to say. Everything I said in my head sounded silly.
I hoped you didn’t think I was interfering, but I had to say something, so I walked up and touched you on the shoulder and prayed for God to give me the words to speak as I said,
“Can I just tell you that you are doing an awesome job with your kids? I know it’s not the same, but I have a daughter with Asperger’s and I know it can be stressful. The way you speak to your children and the way you have been handling him shows how much you love him.”
With tears in your eyes, you replied with “Thank you, that means so much!”. We gave each other a knowing glance, and parted ways.
I wish I could have done more. But the tears in your eyes told me that I had done something.
I learned from you too. You reminded me how important it is to put our children’s needs first. Not to worry about what the other people in the store think. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that our kids know we love them unconditionally just as they are.
Hard day..
My son was diagnosed almost a month ago.Ever since then i have been finding it hard to fall asleep. i just sit in bed for hours and hours thinking about what i did wrong, if i should have done something or shouldn't have done something. i keep thinking to myself that i could have prevented this. i could have done things differently. but of course ill never know the answer to the question WHY? and that is what annoys me the most about this. i dont do good with unanswered questions. therefore, this particular question will haunt me until the day i day.
i got into an argument with my sister last night. which continued to this morning.
background: my whole family doesn't care about me or my kids and neither does my husbands family. i have only told a handful of people about devyn's autism. only because i don't feel the need to put him in front of everyone just to be judged.
so, i asked her for support. which is what family is supposed to be there for. all she did was yell at me and called me HORRIBLE names and said HORRIBLE things. here i am grieving for my son and his future and all i want is support from people who are supposed to care. is that too much to ask for? really? IS IT?
so apparently i am such a horrible person wanting support and grieving for my son. ridiculous. absolutely ridiculous. everybody needs support in their lives. and family is supposed to be there. family is supposed to care. it breaks my heart every single day that my kids aren't able to experience that with other family members. i guess that will be another question ill never know the answer to...
anyway, enough of the venting. i need to forget about them.
autumn has her 9m check up today (a month late)..
i have a list of questions and concerns to present to their pediatrician. ill update later tonight.
i got into an argument with my sister last night. which continued to this morning.
background: my whole family doesn't care about me or my kids and neither does my husbands family. i have only told a handful of people about devyn's autism. only because i don't feel the need to put him in front of everyone just to be judged.
so, i asked her for support. which is what family is supposed to be there for. all she did was yell at me and called me HORRIBLE names and said HORRIBLE things. here i am grieving for my son and his future and all i want is support from people who are supposed to care. is that too much to ask for? really? IS IT?
so apparently i am such a horrible person wanting support and grieving for my son. ridiculous. absolutely ridiculous. everybody needs support in their lives. and family is supposed to be there. family is supposed to care. it breaks my heart every single day that my kids aren't able to experience that with other family members. i guess that will be another question ill never know the answer to...
anyway, enough of the venting. i need to forget about them.
autumn has her 9m check up today (a month late)..
i have a list of questions and concerns to present to their pediatrician. ill update later tonight.
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