LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!! So true!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Talking talking talking..
Why hello! Life seems to be non-stop busy and there arent enough hours in the day to do everything.
Let's see..what is new..Well, we have been doing the usual activities plus more! I'm getting more time with Autumn by myself. I take Autumn to this place called Jumpin' n Jammin. It is in Mission Viejo. We go every Tuesday morning with my friend and her young son. Autumn LOVES IT! It has a rock wall, bounce house, toddler area, games, obstacle courses, etc. It is made for adults too so I am able to go in the obstacle courses with her and such. I have a bunch of pictures. I will have to update this post later with pictures. But, she is talking A LOT more! We have really been focusing on body parts and names of objects. She can say and point to her eyes, nose, mouth, head, feet, tummy and ears. She has a hard time with ears sometimes but almost there! She is saying two-three word phrases. Still says no to everything but is starting to incorporate yes into her vocabulary haha..She is OFF the paci! WOO HOO. That was hard..and still is! Since she cant have that to soothe her she has become a little butt head! Such an attitude she has...haha. Probably the terrible two's kicking in too!
Devyn has also been talking A LOT!!!! It doesnt surprise but but does in a way. For the longest time I just hoped for the day to have a conversation with him. That is what I really want to hear. Not all the way there but close. He answers questions with more than yes and no now and I think he is really starting to get the difference between the two. His sentences are getting longer and longer now. He is getting really used to our routines and knows what is coming next. He is still having struggles with food and the variety of food he eats but he is getting a little better with it. I've been trying to think of new things to put in his lunch. Because they have been working on cheese and pepperonis/salami in therapy I got some thinly sliced cheese and cut up some salami put it in a tortilla and rolled it up. He ate practically all of it in therapy! So, I put one in his lunch today. I really hope he tried it. OH MY GOD. HE ALSO ATE GRAPES YESTERDAY. HE ATE FREAKING GRAPES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have only seen him eat a grape once and that was when he was like a year. He ate them in therapy which might be hard to break. But, he grabbed them and ate them all by himself. So proud of my little dude!!
Yesterday, his stuffed little stuffed horse came in the mail! When he was younger he had a bunch of stuffed animals. Dinosaur and horse stuffed animals. When we move we had lost a few and ever since then I havent been able to find them in store or online anywhere. I FOUND THEM THE OTHER DAY! I ordered one and it arrived. He was so excited. He was talking so much! He was saying how he has 1 new friend and now he has 3 horsie friends. He was doing pretend play and saying one was a big horse and one was a baby horsie and he was pretending one was the mommy and one was the baby and he made the mommy say I love you baby and gave the baby horsie kisses. SO FREAKING CUTE! I wish I would have gotten that on video. He also pretending to put them to sleep. I did get that on video. I will have to upload it soon. Him and Autumn were chasing each other with the animals and pretending to be dinosaurs. It is a great feeling seeing them play together! Makes me happy. Just so proud of his progress and Autumn's progress. School is REALLY helping him. He should have his IEP later this month and I have no doubt that he has met most of his goals. I'm sure he is still struggling with his sensory issues and goals but he will overcome those in time. I talked with D's OT at UCP and she things I should mention something at his IEP and incorporating some motivating using certain objects when he sits down for lunch. Hopefully they will understand and help with this. I also really need to get on the ball with potty training. This is going to be hard. They kind of practice and school and he sits on it occasionally at home. I need to make some kind of reward chart and get some little undies! I think I will but some this weekend and try to contact his teach again regarding this. That is another thing I need to mention in the IEP meeting. COMMUNICATION SUCKS AT HIS SCHOOL! I get that they are busy..but when they dont get back to me in 2 weeks when I left a voice mail that is just unacceptable to me. Hopefully they will get better at this.
Another thing that happened! We have been going to Pretend City for over a year night. We go to the free family autism night every month. He has NEVER gone into the pretend grocery store. When we first started going he had limited pretend play skills and was only concentrated on just a few areas of the museum. He is branching out and actually went into the grocery store! This was a few weeks ago. This made me SO HAPPY! He was pretending to go shopping, eating, weighing items. He loved it. I also got pictures and videos of this too. I was so proud of my little guy. I'm hoping this is the start of him getting over his fear of going to new places and doing new things. Baby steps.
So let's see. No more neuro for us. No more endo. We just have speech, OT and regular pedi and a few other appts. Speech 3 days a week for both kids and OT 2 days a week for D. Not to mention I take autumn to her play date once a week and occasionally story time. I plan on getting them Pretend City passes for their birthdays! They LOVE that place. So now on the weekends and make during the week we will start going more.
I cant believe I will have a 4 year old and 2 year old in a month!!!! Makes me feel so old! Just kidding..kind of! Haha. I need to get working on invites. I'm pretty sure I have the one I want picked out. Just have to get it from this website and then print them myself. They are having a pirate and princess them! So cute! Hopefully the party comes together and goes smoothly. I'm going to be inviting more people to this one. Last year I tried to not invite a whole lot of people because I wasnt sure how D would react but he did great! Hopefully he will get excited about all his little friends being there! We are going to have it at a park by their therapy center and I'm going to get these little stomp rocket things. They have them at his play group and they are really fun for the kids. I was thinking about a cupcake station too..so the kids can decorate their own cupcakes! Fun stuff. I cant wait for them to have THEIR day. I am probably thinking too into this. But, unlike a lot of other kids..they dont really have much family, no grandparents to brag about them, etc. That makes me sad..and of course all they need is us and we always do family stuff. But, I really want them to have their own little day and feel special. Not sure that they will understand that the party is for them. But, I'm sure they will have a blast! :)
Let's see..what is new..Well, we have been doing the usual activities plus more! I'm getting more time with Autumn by myself. I take Autumn to this place called Jumpin' n Jammin. It is in Mission Viejo. We go every Tuesday morning with my friend and her young son. Autumn LOVES IT! It has a rock wall, bounce house, toddler area, games, obstacle courses, etc. It is made for adults too so I am able to go in the obstacle courses with her and such. I have a bunch of pictures. I will have to update this post later with pictures. But, she is talking A LOT more! We have really been focusing on body parts and names of objects. She can say and point to her eyes, nose, mouth, head, feet, tummy and ears. She has a hard time with ears sometimes but almost there! She is saying two-three word phrases. Still says no to everything but is starting to incorporate yes into her vocabulary haha..She is OFF the paci! WOO HOO. That was hard..and still is! Since she cant have that to soothe her she has become a little butt head! Such an attitude she has...haha. Probably the terrible two's kicking in too!
Devyn has also been talking A LOT!!!! It doesnt surprise but but does in a way. For the longest time I just hoped for the day to have a conversation with him. That is what I really want to hear. Not all the way there but close. He answers questions with more than yes and no now and I think he is really starting to get the difference between the two. His sentences are getting longer and longer now. He is getting really used to our routines and knows what is coming next. He is still having struggles with food and the variety of food he eats but he is getting a little better with it. I've been trying to think of new things to put in his lunch. Because they have been working on cheese and pepperonis/salami in therapy I got some thinly sliced cheese and cut up some salami put it in a tortilla and rolled it up. He ate practically all of it in therapy! So, I put one in his lunch today. I really hope he tried it. OH MY GOD. HE ALSO ATE GRAPES YESTERDAY. HE ATE FREAKING GRAPES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have only seen him eat a grape once and that was when he was like a year. He ate them in therapy which might be hard to break. But, he grabbed them and ate them all by himself. So proud of my little dude!!
Yesterday, his stuffed little stuffed horse came in the mail! When he was younger he had a bunch of stuffed animals. Dinosaur and horse stuffed animals. When we move we had lost a few and ever since then I havent been able to find them in store or online anywhere. I FOUND THEM THE OTHER DAY! I ordered one and it arrived. He was so excited. He was talking so much! He was saying how he has 1 new friend and now he has 3 horsie friends. He was doing pretend play and saying one was a big horse and one was a baby horsie and he was pretending one was the mommy and one was the baby and he made the mommy say I love you baby and gave the baby horsie kisses. SO FREAKING CUTE! I wish I would have gotten that on video. He also pretending to put them to sleep. I did get that on video. I will have to upload it soon. Him and Autumn were chasing each other with the animals and pretending to be dinosaurs. It is a great feeling seeing them play together! Makes me happy. Just so proud of his progress and Autumn's progress. School is REALLY helping him. He should have his IEP later this month and I have no doubt that he has met most of his goals. I'm sure he is still struggling with his sensory issues and goals but he will overcome those in time. I talked with D's OT at UCP and she things I should mention something at his IEP and incorporating some motivating using certain objects when he sits down for lunch. Hopefully they will understand and help with this. I also really need to get on the ball with potty training. This is going to be hard. They kind of practice and school and he sits on it occasionally at home. I need to make some kind of reward chart and get some little undies! I think I will but some this weekend and try to contact his teach again regarding this. That is another thing I need to mention in the IEP meeting. COMMUNICATION SUCKS AT HIS SCHOOL! I get that they are busy..but when they dont get back to me in 2 weeks when I left a voice mail that is just unacceptable to me. Hopefully they will get better at this.
Another thing that happened! We have been going to Pretend City for over a year night. We go to the free family autism night every month. He has NEVER gone into the pretend grocery store. When we first started going he had limited pretend play skills and was only concentrated on just a few areas of the museum. He is branching out and actually went into the grocery store! This was a few weeks ago. This made me SO HAPPY! He was pretending to go shopping, eating, weighing items. He loved it. I also got pictures and videos of this too. I was so proud of my little guy. I'm hoping this is the start of him getting over his fear of going to new places and doing new things. Baby steps.
So let's see. No more neuro for us. No more endo. We just have speech, OT and regular pedi and a few other appts. Speech 3 days a week for both kids and OT 2 days a week for D. Not to mention I take autumn to her play date once a week and occasionally story time. I plan on getting them Pretend City passes for their birthdays! They LOVE that place. So now on the weekends and make during the week we will start going more.
I cant believe I will have a 4 year old and 2 year old in a month!!!! Makes me feel so old! Just kidding..kind of! Haha. I need to get working on invites. I'm pretty sure I have the one I want picked out. Just have to get it from this website and then print them myself. They are having a pirate and princess them! So cute! Hopefully the party comes together and goes smoothly. I'm going to be inviting more people to this one. Last year I tried to not invite a whole lot of people because I wasnt sure how D would react but he did great! Hopefully he will get excited about all his little friends being there! We are going to have it at a park by their therapy center and I'm going to get these little stomp rocket things. They have them at his play group and they are really fun for the kids. I was thinking about a cupcake station too..so the kids can decorate their own cupcakes! Fun stuff. I cant wait for them to have THEIR day. I am probably thinking too into this. But, unlike a lot of other kids..they dont really have much family, no grandparents to brag about them, etc. That makes me sad..and of course all they need is us and we always do family stuff. But, I really want them to have their own little day and feel special. Not sure that they will understand that the party is for them. But, I'm sure they will have a blast! :)
Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew written by Ellen Notbohm
"Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" (© 2005, 2010 Ellen Notbohm)
.
_____________
Some days it seems the only predictable thing about it is the unpredictability. The only consistent attribute — the inconsistency There is little argument on any level but that autism is baffling, even to those who spend their lives around it. The child who lives with autism may look “normal” but his behavior can be perplexing and downright difficult.
Autism was once thought an “incurable disorder,” but that notion is crumbling in the face knowledge and understanding that is increasing even as you read this. Every day, individuals with autism are showing us that they can overcome, compensate for and otherwise manage many of autism’s most challenging characteristics. Equipping those around our children with simple understanding of autism’s most basic elements has a tremendous impact on their ability to journey towards productive, independent adulthood.
Autism is a complex disorder but for purposes of this one article, we can distill its myriad characteristics into four fundamental areas: sensory processing challenges, speech/language delays and impairments, the elusive social interaction skills and whole child/self-esteem issues. And though these four elements may be common to many children, keep front-of-mind the fact that autism is a spectrum disorder: no two (or ten or twenty) children with autism will be completely alike. Every child will be at a different point on the spectrum. And, just as importantly — every parent, teacher and caregiver will be at a different point on the spectrum. Child or adult, each will have a unique set of needs.
Here are ten things every child with autism wishes you knew:
1. I am first and foremost a child. My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)? Those may be things that I see first when I meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all about.
As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out a single characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don’t think I “can do it,” my natural response will be: Why try?
2. My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself. Here is why a “simple” trip to the grocery store may be hell for me:
My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today’s special. Musak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can’t filter all the input and I’m in overload!
My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn’t quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn’t showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they’re mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia. I can’t sort it all out. I am dangerously nauseated.
Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it buzzes and hums. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. The pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing — the space seems to be constantly changing. There’s glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may compensate with “tunnel vision”), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive senses, and now I can’t even tell where my body is in space.
3. Distinguish between won’t (I choose not to) and can’t (I am not able to) Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn’t that I don’t listen to instructions. It’s that I can’t understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: “*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*?” Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: “Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It’s time to go to lunch.” This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.
4. I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It’s very confusing for me when you say, “Hold your horses, cowboy!” when what you really mean is “Please stop running.” Don’t tell me something is a “piece of cake” when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is “this will be easy for you to do.” When you say “Jamie really burned up the track,” I see a kid playing with matches. Please just tell me “Jamie ran very fast.”
Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.
5. Be patient with my limited vocabulary. It’s hard for me to tell you what I need when I don’t know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.
Or, there’s a flip side to this: I may sound like a “little professor” or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is called echolalia. I don’t necessarily understand the context or the terminology I’m using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.
6. Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.
A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day-timer, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities, helps me manage my time and meet your expectations.
I won’t lose the need for a visual schedule as I get older, but my “level of representation” may change. Before I can read, I need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. As I get older, a combination of words and pictures may work, and later still, just words.
7. Focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can’t do. Like any other human, I can’t learn in an environment where I’m constantly made to feel that I’m not good enough and that I need “fixing.” Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however “constructive,” becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one right way to do most things.
8. Help me with social interactions. It may look like I don’t want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it’s just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I’m delighted to be included.
I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end. I don’t know how to read facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so I appreciate ongoing coaching in proper social responses. For example, if I laugh when Emily falls off the slide, it’s not that I think it’s funny. It’s that I don’t know the proper response. Teach me to say “Are you OK?”
9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.
Remember that all behavior is a form of communication. It tells you, when my words cannot, how I perceive something that is happening in my environment.
Parents, keep in mind as well: persistent behavior may have an underlying medical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities, sleep disorders and gastrointestinal problems can all have profound effects on behavior.
10. Love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, “If he would just…” and “Why can’t she…” You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn’t like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you — I am worth it.
And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I’m not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won’t be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.
They may have had autism too.
The answer to Alzheimer’s, the enigma of extraterrestrial life — what future achievements from today’s see just how far I can go.
© 2005, 2010 Ellen Notbohm
http://www.ellennotbohm.com/article-archive/ten-things-every-child-with-autism-wishes-you-knew/
.
_____________
Some days it seems the only predictable thing about it is the unpredictability. The only consistent attribute — the inconsistency There is little argument on any level but that autism is baffling, even to those who spend their lives around it. The child who lives with autism may look “normal” but his behavior can be perplexing and downright difficult.
Autism was once thought an “incurable disorder,” but that notion is crumbling in the face knowledge and understanding that is increasing even as you read this. Every day, individuals with autism are showing us that they can overcome, compensate for and otherwise manage many of autism’s most challenging characteristics. Equipping those around our children with simple understanding of autism’s most basic elements has a tremendous impact on their ability to journey towards productive, independent adulthood.
Autism is a complex disorder but for purposes of this one article, we can distill its myriad characteristics into four fundamental areas: sensory processing challenges, speech/language delays and impairments, the elusive social interaction skills and whole child/self-esteem issues. And though these four elements may be common to many children, keep front-of-mind the fact that autism is a spectrum disorder: no two (or ten or twenty) children with autism will be completely alike. Every child will be at a different point on the spectrum. And, just as importantly — every parent, teacher and caregiver will be at a different point on the spectrum. Child or adult, each will have a unique set of needs.
Here are ten things every child with autism wishes you knew:
1. I am first and foremost a child. My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)? Those may be things that I see first when I meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all about.
As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out a single characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don’t think I “can do it,” my natural response will be: Why try?
2. My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself. Here is why a “simple” trip to the grocery store may be hell for me:
My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today’s special. Musak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can’t filter all the input and I’m in overload!
My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn’t quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn’t showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they’re mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia. I can’t sort it all out. I am dangerously nauseated.
Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it buzzes and hums. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. The pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing — the space seems to be constantly changing. There’s glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may compensate with “tunnel vision”), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive senses, and now I can’t even tell where my body is in space.
3. Distinguish between won’t (I choose not to) and can’t (I am not able to) Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn’t that I don’t listen to instructions. It’s that I can’t understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: “*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*?” Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: “Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It’s time to go to lunch.” This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.
4. I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It’s very confusing for me when you say, “Hold your horses, cowboy!” when what you really mean is “Please stop running.” Don’t tell me something is a “piece of cake” when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is “this will be easy for you to do.” When you say “Jamie really burned up the track,” I see a kid playing with matches. Please just tell me “Jamie ran very fast.”
Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.
5. Be patient with my limited vocabulary. It’s hard for me to tell you what I need when I don’t know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.
Or, there’s a flip side to this: I may sound like a “little professor” or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is called echolalia. I don’t necessarily understand the context or the terminology I’m using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.
6. Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.
A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day-timer, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities, helps me manage my time and meet your expectations.
I won’t lose the need for a visual schedule as I get older, but my “level of representation” may change. Before I can read, I need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. As I get older, a combination of words and pictures may work, and later still, just words.
7. Focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can’t do. Like any other human, I can’t learn in an environment where I’m constantly made to feel that I’m not good enough and that I need “fixing.” Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however “constructive,” becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one right way to do most things.
8. Help me with social interactions. It may look like I don’t want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it’s just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I’m delighted to be included.
I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end. I don’t know how to read facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so I appreciate ongoing coaching in proper social responses. For example, if I laugh when Emily falls off the slide, it’s not that I think it’s funny. It’s that I don’t know the proper response. Teach me to say “Are you OK?”
9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.
Remember that all behavior is a form of communication. It tells you, when my words cannot, how I perceive something that is happening in my environment.
Parents, keep in mind as well: persistent behavior may have an underlying medical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities, sleep disorders and gastrointestinal problems can all have profound effects on behavior.
10. Love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, “If he would just…” and “Why can’t she…” You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn’t like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you — I am worth it.
And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I’m not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won’t be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.
They may have had autism too.
The answer to Alzheimer’s, the enigma of extraterrestrial life — what future achievements from today’s see just how far I can go.
© 2005, 2010 Ellen Notbohm
http://www.ellennotbohm.com/article-archive/ten-things-every-child-with-autism-wishes-you-knew/
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