A must read for everybody..

I think this is a must read for everybody. Ignorance really needs to disappear!
I tried posting the link but for some reason it wasn't showing up..

What to say and not say to a parent that has a child with Autism

Written on May 30, 2011 by Stuart Duncan

Filed Under: Autism

I’ve written quite often about how having a child with Autism forces you to have far more patience than you ever thought you could have… but there are still limits. And even though your patience levels can seem limitless for your child, you may find that you don’t have the same tolerances when it comes to others or some of the ignorant things they say, whether innocently intended or not.

There are a few lists out there of things not to say to us parents, but this is more of a list of things not to say or else you may just push us beyond the breaking point. Don’t worry though, I’ll follow it up with some things that I think would actually be nice to say.
do not sayDo not say

* Your kid just needs proper discipline
* My kids would never get away with that
* What made your kid autistic? Was it something you did?
* You shouldn’t take your kid out if they’re just going to be like that.
* Your kid doesn’t look autistic
* Are you sure your kid is autistic?
* Why would you have more children if there’s a risk they could have autism too?
* Have you thought about a group home or institution for your child, so that you can go back to having a normal life?
* Sorry, I don’t really want my child to play with yours.
* Your kid is defective
* Your kid will grow out of it, right?
* Autism? That’s like Rain Man, right?
* It must be nice to get special funding or special help!
* I hope my kids don’t end up like yours
* You need to watch your kids better
* Maybe you’re just bad parents
* But all children do that
* But your kid was so good for me
* Referring to your child with a nickname such as “rain man” or “stimmer”

Yes, these are actual phrases I’ve heard or have heard second hand (parents told me someone said it to them). Ok, now that your blood is boiling, let’s continue on.

Here are some nicer things to hear.
Do say

* You’re doing such a great job
* I don’t know how you are able to do so much
* Your child is progressing so well, you must be very proud
* If I can help, just let me know.
* I don’t know much about it but I’m willing to learn
* I’ve read some studies, heard the news but I’d love to hear what you think

Devyn is still in his hitting phase. I really hope this will stop soon. He is being so difficult. Chris and I just went to this parenting class about behaviors in kids with autism at For Oc Kids the other day. It was pretty beneficial. Unfortunately, the class is only 2 sessions and only an hour and a half each. It was REALLY nice being able to be around people who understand what I'm feeling. It also was kind of weird too though because there were much older parents. I think we were the youngest ones there even though I feel really really old. They gave us hand outs and charts to chart his behaviors he has day to day. Next class we are supposed to go over them I think.

I finally got a hold of his teacher but she still didn't answer all my questions. I'm getting kind of annoyed with her. She rarely gives me updates. She is not good at responding to emails and even when she does she doesn't answer all my questions. When I call I end up leaving messages. UGH. But she did say that he does good with a calendar type thing with pictures and activities. So, I think I'm going to make him a calendar of things he does on a daily basis. Maybe it will help with his obsessive behaviors lately. He has been really obsessed with school and everything school related. I'm glad he loves school but when he has to have his backpack on and his lunch bag in his backpack WITH all his food in there all the time then there is a problem here!

I don't know how he will react on his school break..he will be on break from the June 15th till July 25th I believe. I might just go insane. I love him...but I have been having a lot of breakdowns lately with his behavior and just everything going on in general. I really wish I had more support with this. Or just more support in general. It is really sad how people are there for others now a days. Really makes me fear for the world my children will grow up in. I know the world wont be kind to Devyn as he grows older and I constantly worry about that..

Anyway, next weekend should be interesting. Devyn has his playgroup and then right after we are going to a birthday party. I'm always hesitant about going to those type of events now because of his meltdowns. I really hope he will be okay while we are there. Please cross your fingers for no hitting attacks!