My son was diagnosed almost a month ago.Ever since then i have been finding it hard to fall asleep. i just sit in bed for hours and hours thinking about what i did wrong, if i should have done something or shouldn't have done something. i keep thinking to myself that i could have prevented this. i could have done things differently. but of course ill never know the answer to the question WHY? and that is what annoys me the most about this. i dont do good with unanswered questions. therefore, this particular question will haunt me until the day i day.
i got into an argument with my sister last night. which continued to this morning.
background: my whole family doesn't care about me or my kids and neither does my husbands family. i have only told a handful of people about devyn's autism. only because i don't feel the need to put him in front of everyone just to be judged.
so, i asked her for support. which is what family is supposed to be there for. all she did was yell at me and called me HORRIBLE names and said HORRIBLE things. here i am grieving for my son and his future and all i want is support from people who are supposed to care. is that too much to ask for? really? IS IT?
so apparently i am such a horrible person wanting support and grieving for my son. ridiculous. absolutely ridiculous. everybody needs support in their lives. and family is supposed to be there. family is supposed to care. it breaks my heart every single day that my kids aren't able to experience that with other family members. i guess that will be another question ill never know the answer to...
anyway, enough of the venting. i need to forget about them.
autumn has her 9m check up today (a month late)..
i have a list of questions and concerns to present to their pediatrician. ill update later tonight.
2 comments:
i'm sorry your families aren't being supportive. but honestly you would get more shit even if they were supportive. I see my boss go through it a lot. her husbands mom gives reasons why her kid is autistic and then she said he will snap out of it. Really?! it's not like it is just a "phase" so she deals with people that don't know anything about it giving her advice. I am here is you ever want to talk. have you started that diet for D?
gosh, that is ridiculous. it really annoys me when people give opinions to others even though they have no idea what they are talking about. autism isnt just a phase! there is no sure. im just trying to forget about them.
i havent started the diet yet. my daughter has an appt today and they have the same pediatrician so i was going to talk with her about it. as well as a few other concerns and questions i have. but i think we will try it out next month.
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